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01 August, 2013

Overstepped the threshold - time to take a step back or two

August 1st, 2013: I've got 178 actionable emails in my inbox.

A partial snap of my inbox of this evening with the emails which dodged all the 50+ filters, headed directly my way & need quick attention — it's not a sudden spike, and there're some emails missing inbetween, which I've replied to, archived, before thinking of taking the screencap — but you get it, right!

Being busy is qualitative & subjective topic, but, nonetheless — even if I leave out the stats from other channels of communications — I think this still is a pretty big number, even for the pros, whose everyday job is to deal with emails.

Guess what? I'm not one of them, I'm not aspiring to be — and I am overwhelmed.

Now, I like to play things sandboxed — I always have. Trust me when I say this, I've got more browsing profiles in my workstations than the fingers of my hand, and I've got more online-aliases than that of all my limbs' combined. Debloper, started as one of them, seems to have to grown out of proportion - the sandbox has broken, and it's messing with ME.

It's not I just have come to notice this. The symptoms have been prevalent for quite a while now. Forgetfulness, Lack of Attention, Lack of Personal Communications, Imperfect & incomplete task-executions, surprise-schedule for Food & Sleep — oh, I've fallen quite a height, really!

I've had called in a break which was long overdue — yet to catch it. But I don't think a break will do anymore. My lifestyle has to change. One can not spend the entire life visiting Gram'ma, eating whatever has been served — well, it's all sweet and all — but one has to say "stop, I'm full... please no more!" at some point.

A massive restructuring & interest-prioritization has to be in order - ASAP. Meanwhile, this post is the last try to keep the palms & fingers raised while the entire body is already under the quicksand. Also, for the rehab, I need time, which I'm cumulatively loosing - and last I checked, it wasn't selling in the black market.

The Devil's Advocate is playing on my head — the end part with free-will. Gotta make a choice — and it's coming... soon.

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